Phatic Phrases: How Are You?

We say it countless times a day—“How are you?”—but do we really want the answer? In most casual encounters, the question is more of a social lubricant, a phatic phrase that smooths interactions. We’re signaling friendliness, not necessarily diving into deep emotional territory.

My Answer to “How Are You?”

Usually something like “Hungry,” or “Ready for my closeup” with a wink—just to mess with the script. It’s fun to watch the other person’s reaction. I’m not actually revealing how I truly feel, but I’m keeping the rapport intact.

Phatic communication is about building connection—it’s a ritual that acknowledges another person without demanding real depth. In some cultures, the go-to question might be “Have you eaten?” or “All good?”—the wording changes, but the function stays the same: a quick social handshake.

A Friendly Wrap-Up

So, “How are you?”.... While usually it’s just a casual hello; one mustant crowbar a conversation, but I love to use it as an opportunity (on occastion) to peel the onion a bit. To stand-out a bit in the answer. A giggle or smile or a little deeper connection just may happen.